[Intro]
[Verse 1]
It was a wonderful world
The picture tube was bright
There was so much to do on a Saturday night
Plenty of talk during commercials
Sometimes even popcorn in bed
[Verse 2]
I ve been a model provider
You must admit to that
A lovely rented bungalow, two terrific little cats
Is there something that I might have missed?
You haven t heard a word I ve said
[Chorus]
Since his penis came between us
Since his penis came between us
[Break]
[Verse 3]
I don t mean to seem angry
But I m a bit taken back
What did you say his name was? Oh my god, it s not Jack?
That scoundrel s gonna get a talkin to
tomorrow at the coffee machine
[Verse 4]
It s always someone you know
In this case, my best friend
How could he do this to me? We just played golf last weekend
I ve got news for Mr. So-and-so
He won t be teeing off with me
[Chorus]
Since his penis came between us
Since his penis came between us
[Bridge]
Let s play a little game:
Is it bigger than a bread-box? Or shorter than your maiden name?
Is it as high as an elephants eye?
Is it like mounting some great white steed?
I mean this thing you have for him
This, shall we say, need?
[Verse 5]
Let s turn off the lights, love
It s time for bed
Oh look, there s Johnny Carson, If you d rather watch instead
I m glad that we could have this little talk
Goodnight, and pleasant dreams, my love