Eddie licked chickens on the farm
When he was just sixteen
A little ferret was his friend
                         
He used to keep his bottom clean
The moment that he touched a goat
                                                     
He stroked it every day (stroked it every day)
It was a very happy farm
                                    
Where Eddie and his midgets (?) played
Eddie s got 27 pigs and a dozen cows
He became a farmer to abuse his sows
Said he screwed a different goat after every stoat (?)
                                      
And the sausage man came marching in again
Eddie finished at the sty
And then harrassed a horse
He rubbed it up and down his back
                                       
And mounted it with violent force
Took seven voles to his mum s bedroom
They nibbled off his clothes (nibbled off his clothes)
Some people say he was a weirdo
                                              
But (baaaaah) you should see him go
Eddie s got 27 pigs and a dozen cows
He became a farmer to abuse his sows
Said he screwed a different goat after every stoat (?)
                                      
And the sausage man came marching in again
                               
He s in deep inside a beaver
                                                        
You hear him moan but don t be scared
                                                                                                                 
Cause like diseases, he comes and then he goes, yeah, let s go
Three days later, Eddie s sitting in a cell
Serves him right for giving all his horses hell
So now the goats can live in peace and harmony
                                                          
Safe in the knowledge there ll be no more 
      
Eddie had 27 pigs and a dozen cows (Eddie had a farm, but he caused it harm)
He became a farmer to abuse his sows
Said he screwed a different goat after every stoat (?) (after every show, Eddie nailed a goat)
                                                                  
And the sausage men were eating sandwiches, yeah, eh-eh-eh-eh