Wossy, in two weeks youâll be gone
This is my last opportunity to sing you a song
So I wanna ask a favour before
-*
You get on with your life
Jonathan, I wanna make love to you
Wossy I just wanna make sweet love to you
Just once, I wanna make sweet love to you
Sweet love to your wife
Thereâs just something about her
That drives me insane
Sheâs got that cute sense of humour
And a brilliant brain
But if Iâm totally honest
My feelings for Jane
Are mostly sexual
Donât wanna put you and her
In an awkward position
But I know Iâd regret it
If I didnât ask the question
I have talked to my wife
And she gave me permission
We both have a celebrity shag concession
And mine is Jane
Hers is Wayne Rooney
Although to be fair
Thereâs not much chance of scoring there
Jane, in two weeks time
Your hubby will be out on the breadline baby
And surely youâre not gonna wanna be
Spending time with a bum
I know that in a month or three
Heâll have weaselled his way back onto my TV
But in the meantime, would you consider me
For a little fun?
The next 4 verses follow the A - E/A - G/A - D pattern
(Could switch the G/A for a G for a bit of variety on one or 2)
Just one night, Jane, would embiggen me
Just one night, baby, youâll be digginâ me
Just a little dabble in temporary bigamy
I just wanna make love, sweet love to you
What I wouldnât give for just one night with you
Nothing too weird, just a nice night with a
Couple of whips and an underwater camera
I just wanna make a little sweet love to you
Wossy, you can watch if thatâd make you feel better
Thatâd make it even more unforgettable
You can hold the camera and make some bruschetta
In case I get hungry making sweet love to your wife
Stop me, wonât you Wossy, if this is getting weird?
The thought of Jane nuzzling my ginger beard
Iâm just doing a song, like we agreed
And it just happens to be a song about how I wanna
Make sweet love to your wife
Oooh
Jonathan Iâve always admired you
I was nervous about our interview
But your producers assured me
That all I had to do
Was be totally honest...with you
Then mess around in D for a while, if you can do what Tim does, congratulations!