Figured Out On Ukulele, Same On Guitar
Capo 1st Fret
We ve been on a bunch of dates
I weigh debates that this creates
And hate that state of forced introspection
We traded wit, we swapped some spit,
You fingered me a little bit
But we never really had a connection
You did nothing wrong, I have no excuse
Just my intuition telling me we shouldn t reproduce
I know I have to end it
But pretend to just suspend it
By contending that I m busy all week
I let the foregone linger on
Text back with an emoticon
Withdraw from you by being oblique
Inside I know my tactics just delay it
But I d do anything so I don t have to say it
I ll draw this out forever like it s Vietnam
Then one day I ll be gone like Bambi s mom Awww
Cause there s the right thing to do
Then there s what I m gonna do
There s so much I should say
But instead... I do the fade away
Now I m fading like chalk on a sidewalk
Or the polio virus after Jonas Salk
Like a Jewish guy at Arby s on Yom Kippur
The Whig party post Millard Fillmore
The erection of a man on antidepressants
The cast of Diff rent Strokes after adolescence
Reproductive rights below the Mason Dixon
Native Americans after the barter systems
Your thyroid gland after Hashimoto
The family in the Back to the Future photo
Yeah I fade away
We say that men are asshole who don t communicate
We revel in our victimhood and amplify our hate
We find ways to be indignant like it s a sport
Then dissect their malignance with the views we distort
The way men break up may be sloppy and terse
What they do is bad, but what we do is worse
We pretend to ourselves it s the nice thing to do
To let you down gently by just not ing telling you
And deep down we know it s the worst way to play it
But we are what we have... huge
And women are hypocrites
Especially ones in comedy bands
We see your faults but not our own
Then we wonder why we re all alone
We fill you up with maybe s, excuses and stalls
But like a baby in China... it s better to have balls
Not the Good Wife type like Christine Baranski
So I ll pull out and leave like I m Roman Polanski
Cause there s the right thing to do
Then there s what I m gonna do
There s so much I should say
But instead... I do the fade away
Like Verbal Kint fading into Kaiser Soze
The rights in Arizona for a guy named Jose
Opportunities for a college grad
The love between your mom and dad
Gonna Peter out like a gay Cetera
Iranian relations since the Regan era
Black Nike sales after Heaven s Gate
Summer Camp attendance at Penn State
The name Adolph after World War Two
Like Debbie Gibson s pop career, Out of the Blue
Yeah I fade away
Cause I don t wanna get to know you
I just want to blow you... off