(intro x4)
Arthur Askey and Douggie-Wouggie Bader went down to the animal farm
Douggie bored a boar with his stories from the war
And explained about the boil on his palm.
Napoleon, very pink offered both of them a drink
And a drink and a drink and a drink.
Come the hour of four they were legless to be sure
Not one of them had even had a wink of sleep.
And everybody sang as loud as they could
Two legs bad but four legs good
(x2)
This made the boys feel pretty oppressed.
Came the new realm it was A A at the helm
While Douggers played Luftwaffe on the roofs.
After amputating limbs all the others wrote new hymns
And a signpost said Second Hand Hooves .
Years passed by, double grazing in the sty
It was good but it was total apathy.
Everybody arsed around and that beasts of England sound
Had been ruined by a busy, busy bee.
And chants were heard from the East to the West
Four legs good but no legs best
Invalidity reigned supreme.
And chants were heard from the East to the West
Four legs good but no legs best
(x4)
One time visitors were now the regime.