capo on 5.....
Weird Al Yankovic - You?re Pitiful
Intro
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What, was I too early? Oh, sorry. Should I...Do you wanna start over? Or, keep going? 
Okay, now? Now? 
VERSE 1
My life is brilliant 
Your life s a joke 
You re just pathetic 
You re always broke 
Your homemade Star Trek uniform
really ain t impressing  me 
You re suffering  from delusions of 
Adequacy 
CHORUS
           
You re Pitiful 
You re Pitiful
          
You re Pitiful
It s true 
                  
Never had a date
                    
That ya couldn t inflate
                                       
And ya smell repulsive too 
                                
What a bummer bein  you 
Lead:
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VERSE 2
Well ya just can t dance 
And forget romance 
Everybody you know still calls ya 
Farty Pants 
                                  
But you always have a job well I mean 
                                                  
As long as you still can work that slurpie machine 
 CHORUS
           
You re Pitiful 
You re Pitiful
          
You re Pitiful
It s true 
                        
You re half undressed 
                        
Eatin  chips of your chest
                             
While you re playin  Halo 2
                                
No one s classier than you 
                                 
La la la la, la la la la, la la la la, LOSER
           
You re Pitiful 
You re Pitiful
          
You re Pitiful
It s true
                                   
Your dog would much rather 
                   
Play fetch by itself 
                                                            
You still live with your Mom and you re 42 
                                      
Guess you ll never grow a clue 
                                     
When it just sucks to be you