Iâd like to do some calculations
In the hopes that Iâll come to some realizations.
My mind is not what it used to be,
That certainly isnât news to me,
But I want to know how my life was spent
Now that I know that Iâm near the end.
So I add, subtract, multiply, and divide
To try and figure out what I did with my life.
I spent twenty-seven years in my bed,
And thereâs not much that I wouldâve preferred to do instead.
I spent two years chewing, and six months wooing,
And, Iâm sure youâre curious, almost three years pooing.
I spent twenty-five years working for a guy,
That I wanted to kill when I didnât want to die,
But I spent fifty-seven years loving you my friend,
So I guess it all makes sense at the end.
I spent nearly a full year masturbating,
Second only to the year we spent copulating.
I know youâre not a fan of this vulgarity,
But completeness is important for full clarity.
I spent more than seven years watching television,
And how could I not regret that decision,
But I donât think that Iâll ever know how much time,
I did or didnât spend lookinâ into your eyes.
I spent twenty-seven years in my bed,
And thereâs not much that I wouldâve preferred to do instead.
I spent two years chewing, and six months wooing,
And, Iâm sure youâre curious, almost three years pooing.
I spent twenty-five years working for a guy,
That I wanted to kill when I didnât want to die,
But I spent fifty-seven years loving you my friend,
So I guess it all makes sense at the end.
Iâve never known any way but numbers and sums
To understand what we are and what we have become,
But like numbers are perfect, thatâs how this has been for me,
And I hope that I still give you everything you need.
Eighty years alive and four eating food.
Five reading books and fifty-seven with you.
Two eyes, one nose, one smile, one life.
It somehow isnât ever quite enough time.
I spent twenty-seven years in my bed,
And thereâs not much that I wouldâve preferred to do instead.
I spent two years chewing, and six months wooing,
And, Iâm sure youâre curious, almost three years pooing.
I spent twenty-five years working for a guy,
That I wanted to kill when I didnât want to die,
But I spent fifty-seven years loving you my friend,
So I guess it all makes sense at the end.
Oh, I guess it all makes sense at the end.
Yeah, I guess it all makes sense at the end.